Faith: [still] choosing to believe

“[Wait] with Me for a while. I have much to tell you. You are walking along the path I have [chosen for you]. It is both a privileged and perilous way: experiencing My glorious Presence and heralding that reality to others. Sometimes you feel presumptuous to be carrying out such an assignment. Do no worry about what other people think of you.The work I am doing in you is hidden at first. But eventually blossoms will burst forth, and [abundant] fruit will be borne. Stay on the path of Life with Me. Trust Me [wholeheartedly], letting my spirit fill you with Joy and Peace.”

I discovered this excerpt one fall morning in College Station while sitting on my back porch sipping my coffee and reading my daily devotional.

At that time I was just two days into my senior year and was already being forced to make decisions that would significantly influence the next season of my life…and I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that yet. Now, those decisions have been made and resulted in me working full time for Pine Cove…a job that I absolutely love, with people that I love even more.

A sweet season of life no doubt, but still, over a year later, I have found myself sitting on a new back porch in Flint, Tx clinging to this same truth over and over again. I have come to realize that no matter where I am or what season of life I am in I will spend the rest of my life having to make many more decisions, whether big or small, that will continue to influence it; however, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life allowing those decisions to consume my thoughts or weigh me down. I want to simply walk, each day,along the path He has chosen for me, trusting Him wholeheartedly to guide each step…but how?!

My flesh wants to have all of my ducks in a row. To make sure everything is going to work out according to my plan. The Spirit, however, demands faith.

“Now faith is the [assurance] of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen…” -Hebrews 11:1

Hebrews 11 reminds us that we are called to be sure of God’s promises and that assurance should be evident in our actions. Hebrews 11 also seems to have a reoccurring theme: “By faith…”.
By faith Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, and Sara lived their lives in such a way that reflected their belief that God is who He says He is and that He blesses His children.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and the He rewards those who ernestly seek Him.” -Hebrews 11:6

I want to live my life like that too. To engage with a God that [overflows] into every aspect of my life. A God that has my best interest in mind and seeks to bless me. A God that is proud to proclaim Himself as my God simply because I am engaging with Him and [drawing near].

So, no matter what season of life you may be in I invite you to do the same. Whether you are figuring out what to do after college, transitioning out of one job and in search of another, or learning a new job the reality is that life is full of transition. Seasons of life are constantly changing, but we serve a God that is unchanging. In the midst of whatever season you are currently in, no matter how comfortable or chaotic, are you choosing to believe each and every day that God is who He says He is and that by faith, blossoms will eventually burst forth and abundant fruit will be borne because He blesses His children?

My life and ministry won’t be perfect, but thankfully, our God [chooses] to use broken people…and just as He chooses to use us, I am choosing to believe that He will use me to accomplish His purposes. If I am trusting my God [wholeheartedly] with my life, my labor will not be in vain and neither will yours.

“All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.”

                                                                                                   -Hebrews 11:13-16

So, I have found that it isn’t necessarily where you are in life that matters, but rather who you choose to believe in. The question is, are you believing in yourself or your Creator? Are you trying to create your own path, or simply choosing to walk in the one He has already paved for you, all the while longing for a better country, the heavenly city that He has prepared? All of my decisions and problems seem to be a lot less weighty in light of these truths, and from now on I want to spend my life choosing, believing, walking, and ultimately longing for a better country.

YOU WORK AT A SUMMER CAMP?!

"Why would you ever want to spend your whole summer working with kids at camp?!"

Well, if you have worked at Pine Cove, maybe you’ve had your friends or family members ask you this question…OR, if you have never worked but are considering it maybe you are asking yourself this question now!

I can’t speak for everyone on this one, but I can give you a few of the reasons why I absolutely loved spending all four of my college summers working at Pine Cove.  In fact, I loved it so much that I am now working FULL TIME. That's right. Not just summer camp...but all year round camp. And here are just a few reasons why...I won’t take all of your time with the really long list that I could make, instead I will keep it short and give you my T5…

1. Dance parties…EVERY DAY…really. AND the more ridiculous your dance moves, the cooler you are to your campers.

2. The best snacks in the world: cookies the size of your face, fudge pops, ice cream sandwiches…just to name a few.

3. Getting to wear things you would NEVER wear in public without getting funny looks.

4. Standing in your chairs at meals is perfectly normal, and actually encouraged.

Last, but most certainly not least…the most important one actually, in my opinion…

5. You get PAID to hangout with campers and invest in the Kingdom of God! 

Now, the first four are pretty self explanatory…the dance parties are awesome, and if you think YOU look like a fool just look to your right and left and be comforted by knowing that everyone else is dancing just as ridiculously as you are. Face cookies, enough said. Camp apparel, it’s the coolest and the comfiest…wolf shirts, fun headbands, neon everything, patterned socks, cap sacks, nike high tops, the list goes on. I remember feeling like I was rebelling against my parents the first time I stood in my chair to cheer during meal times, especially when I found out you were supposed to dance and cheer too. Then it became second nature and weird to do anything else. So, number 5, there is a LOT to unpack there. This one continues to blow my mind…every day. Here at Pine Cove we say, time and time again, that our staff is our program. I didn’t realize just how true this was until I saw it fleshed out. I came into my first summer one person, and left a completely different one. I knew Pine Cove’s mission statement: Pine Cove exists to be used by God to transform the lives of people for His purposes and His glory! But I had no idea this transformation of lives included my very own. I expected to come to camp and get to invest in campers lives, and I was really excited about that; however, I didn’t realize that my life and relationship with the Lord would be completely rocked in the process! If you think about it though, it makes complete sense. Our job is to pour out our knowledge and wisdom of God into the lives of the people around us, but that can’t truly happen unless we are being poured into from a much bigger, richer, life giving source. Read Jeremiah 2 if you want to get a small view of where I was coming from going into my first summer. Here’s a snippet from verse 13 to give you the idea…

“My people have committed two sins:

They have forsaken me,

    the spring of living water,

and have dug their own cisterns,

    broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”

Yep, that pretty much says it all. I don’t know where you are or where you were, but I know that when I first applied to work at camp this was me. I was a freshmen in college trying to figure out life on my own: which organizations to join, who to be friends with, what classes to take, what to do with my life, me, me, me. I was digging my own cisterns day after day. That summer at camp is when I realized that all of those cisterns I had been trying to build weren’t enough to sustain. I couldn’t pour out into my camper’s lives (or anyone else’s for that matter) because my cisterns were empty. So, I finally turned to the One cistern that would never run dry and I wasn’t disappointed. I learned what it meant to truly seek the Lord, pray expectantly, and live in community. I found a source of Living Water that I, four years later, have been able to continue to turn to time and time again. Not only that, but as my life was being transformed I was living out that transformation right in front of my campers eyes. As the Lord was molding, growing,  and shaping me He was doing the same in the lives of my campers. So, if anyone ever asks me, “Why camp?!”, I point them to Jeremiah 2 and tell them exactly why.

So, whether you have already worked at camp and are praying through whether or not to come back for another summer, you are considering Pine Cove for the first time, or you know someone who might be interesrted my hope is that you can see eternal value in spending a summer at Pine Cove…and it all starts with following this link:  http://www.pinecove.com/summerjobs/positions and clicking on the blue APPLY NOW box!

Consistently Inconsistent...

Consistently inconsistent. That is the best way I can think to most accurately describe my blogging. And my life for that matter. I wish it were much more consistent. The blogging, that is, but, considering my last blog post was a year ago...

Just like you can't microwave maturity, I don't think you can microwave consistency either. So, just to be clear, this isn't going to be an attempt to blog consistently. Rather, it's an attempt to update whoever in the world may be even the slightest bit interested in where I am and what I am doing with my life. 

While we are on the topic of consistency though, there is something in my life I am doing consistently. Reading. Yep, that's right. I actually enjoy reading now that I am not forced to read articles and textbooks that I find little to know interest in. It's actually easy to enjoy reading when you know you arent going to be tested on your recollection of the material. So, all that being said, I am learning that with high input also comes the need for output. And that's the purpose of a blog right? The Lord has been teaching me constantly over the past year...mostly about trust and transition. As I have been learning, I have also been asking lots of questions. Becoming a student of what I love. So, regardless of how much and how often, my hope is that this blog can be a means of declaring the simple truths that God continues to reveal in my life.But, since it has been a year since my last blog post...here is my life..ish in picture form to fill the gaps:

senior year adventures started off with a roomie cliff jumping trip...
and then we remembered the great drought of summer 2011

but found this saweet place instead.

semester one: i became a cupcake baker...and taste tester of course

a thanksgiving i will never forget. spent with my roomies and our families.

semester two: i became a student teacher. with my own students, lessons, and classroom.
and this girl came to visit once a week. best.

graduation day. bittersweet. the ending of one season and the start of another.

a few riverrat adventures before leaving college station for good.

MY BEST FRIEND GOT MARRIEEEDDDD. perfect day.

summer 2012. my fourth one at pine cove. yep, this picture pretty much sums it up.
a summer full of fun, refinement, discipleship, and shepherding. 

college roommates. best friends for life. sweet reunion with sweet sisters.

learning we may not live in the same town anymore,
but we can definitely still do life together.

annnnnd. my life currently. every day is different. really.
learning a new job in a new place with new people.
pretending to know what it's like to be grown up, but really having no clue.
forming and deepening a new community.
living each day to the fullest, knowing and trusting that i am exactly where God has me.

The Lord's Favor

Being the procrastinator that I am, I was avoiding reading for my classes this afternoon and decided instead to spend a little time with the Lord. As I was reading Isaiah 61 I just was in absolute awe of God's favor for His people. It landed on me hard and the only response I knew was to worship. Here is the result...now maybe the Lord will show some favor on me for these afternoon classes I should've been reading for...

The Lord's Favor

The Spirit of God has fell upon me,
To bind the broken hearted,
Bring good news to those in need.
So open the prison gates,
Set the captives free.
Show us your favor,
Proclaim liberty.

You , oh God, you comfort those who mourn.
Anoint our heads with oil, the veil has torn.

Out of the ashes, giver of Life.
You clothe us with salvation,
And open our eyes.

So open the Heavens,
Pour down Your Spirit.
Open the Heavens,
Pour down your grace
...on me.

Give us hands to receive, 
Give us hearts to believe,
Give us eyes to see.
Lord, give us hands to receive,
Give us hearts to believe,
Give us eyes to see...
Our need, our need,
Need for you.

Yes, You, oh God, you comfort those who mourn.
Anoint our heads with oil, the veil has torn.

And out of the ashes, giver of Life.
You clothe us with salvation,
And open our eyes.

So open the Heavens,
Pour down Your Spirit.
Open the Heavens,
Pour down your grace...
...on me... 

The Cost of Discipleship

"The ordinary idea which we all have before we become Christians is this. We take as a starting point our ordinary self with its various desires and interests. We then admit that something else...call it "morality" or "decent behavior" or "the good of society"...has claims on this self; claims which interfere with its own desires...We are hoping all the time that when all the demands have been met, the poor natural self will still have some chance, and some time, to get on with its own life and do what it likes. In fact, we are very like an honest man paying his taxes. He pays them all right, but he does hope that there will be enough left over for him to live on. Because we are still taking our natural self as the starting point...Make no mistake: if you are really going to try to meet all the demands made on the natural self, it will not have enough to live on. The more you obey your conscience, the more your conscience will demand of you. And your natural self, which is thus being starved and hammered and worried at every turn, will get angrier and angrier..." -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Thank you C.S. Lewis for wrecking me with the Truth stick this morning...

Faith: choosing to believe.

"[Wait] with Me for a while. I have much to tell you. You are walking along the path I have [chosen for you]. It is both a privileged and perilous way: experiencing My glorious Presence and heralding that reality to others. Sometimes you feel presumptuous to be carrying out such an assignment. Do no worry about what other people think of you. The work I am doing in you is hidden at first. But eventually blossoms will burst forth, and [abundant] fruit will be borne. Stay on the path of Life with Me. Trust Me [wholeheartedly], letting my spirit fill you with Joy and Peace."

I feel as if I will find myself clinging to this time and time again over the next year.

Senior year? What?? It is day two and I am already being forced to make decisions that will significantly influence the next season of my life...and I am not so sure how I feel about that yet.

My flesh wants to have all of my ducks in a row. To make sure everything is going to work out according to my plan. The Spirit, however, demands faith.

"Now faith is the [assurance] of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen..."         -Hebrews 11:1

So, according to Hebrews 11, we are called to believe God's promises and to allow that belief to be evident in our actions. By faith Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, and Sara lived their lives in such a way that  reflected their belief that God is who He says He is and that He blesses His children.
I want to live my life like that too. To engage with a God that [overflows]. A God that has my best interest in mind and seeks to bless me. A God that is proud to proclaim Himself as my God simply because I am engaging with Him and [drawing near].

"...And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks..."    -Hebrews 11:4

Just like Abel, my life and ministry won't be perfect, but thankfully, our God [chooses] to use broken people...and just as He chooses to use us, I am choosing to believe that He will use me to accomplish His purposes. If I am trusting my God [wholeheartedly] with my life, my labor will not be in vain.

...eventually blossoms will burst forth, and abundant fruit will be borne...

My Creator is Creative

cre·a·tive/krēˈātiv/

  1. having the ability or power to create.

  2. designed to or tending to stimulate the imagination.

  3. characterized by sophisticated bending of the rules or conventions

My God is a creative God.

The Lord showed me time and time again this summer just how creative He was...whether it was through the way He painted the sky with rays of sunshine stretching across and through a blanket of purples and pinks, the way spiritual application could be made with any and every activity, or simply through day to day interactions and conversations with people. The latter being the one that hits the closest to home because I had the opportunity to share my story, the great work that God has done in and through me, every Sunday night with my entire cluster of girls...4 counselors, 32 campers. I also had the privelage of hearing my counselor's stories each week. Every day presented itself with another opportunity to hear about the great work that the Lord was doing in someone's life. Everyone's story different. Very different. Hearing so many stories and seeing just how different each was made me realize the creativity of our God. He works miracles in our lives. Daily. He showers us with blessings. Daily. He enables us to endure trials. Daily. He refreshes us with the joy of who He is. Daily. But. As if that wasn't awesome enough, the coolest part is that all of those things look different for different people. Daily.

"It is a merciful Father who strips us when we need to be stripped, as the tree needs to be stripped of its blossoms. He is not finished with us yet, whatever the loss we suffer, for as we loose hold on visible things, the invisible become more precious...He deals with us according to His intimate knowledge of who we are and what we need to bring us to conformity with the image of His son."         -Elisabeth Elliot

 My God knows me so well that he knows exactly what I need to look more like Him. He won't allow me to endure any more or less than necessary to conform me to the image of His son. He knows exactly how much I can endure. He knows what will draw me closer. He knows me intimately. 

^{Psalm 139}

¹O LORD, you have searched me and known me! 

²Youknow when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
³You search out my path and my lying down
   and are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴Even before a word is on my tongue,
   behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
⁵You hem me in, behind and before,
   and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
   it is high; I cannot attain it.

I have seen His perfect provision in my life and the more stories I hear, the more I see His perfect provision lived out in so many different ways in others. How sweet it is to be known by the God of the universe. The God that has overcome the world, conquered death, and rose from the grave. That is the God that knows me. And you. Every new person you meet is a chance to learn more about the character of God and the creative ways that He works. As He reveals Himself in different ways to each of us He leads us on our own unique journey. No two are the same. No two callings are the same. He calls people to serve Him any and everywhere so that they can use their gifting to best serve Him. All because He knows us. There is no doubt about it...my God is a creative God.