Irony: finding comfort in discomfort

Comfort. Your favorite sweatpants, a warm cup of tea, and a good book next to a fire on a cold day. Oh, and don't forget the fuzzy socks.

Are you drooling yet?

I love being comfortable, in fact, I have been convicted recently that I might love it just a little too much...and it may just be time for me to step away from the fireplace and get out of those sweatpants and fuzzy socks.

I'm not saying comfort is a bad thing, but I am saying that too much of it certainly can be. I live a pretty "comfortable" life. I have a roof over my head, I get a check every other week, I never worry about where my next meal will come from, and I surround myself with people that are a lot like me. I find comfort in all of those things.

For twenty of the last sixty days, however, I decided to leave a lot of that comfort behind. Ten of those days were spent in El Salvador, which was an incredible experience. (You can read more about that here) The other ten of those days were spent bouncing around Europe.  On both of those trips, I had no choice but to experience different cultures, attempt to communicate in at least 4 different languages, sleep in places I never desire to again, and eat food that my body doesn't know what to do with. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining! Most of that I asked for, even chose.

At the time I didn't necessarily love being put in those "uncomfortable" situations, but since being back and having time to process I have realized that not only did those experiences make me so much more aware of my sin, but they also brought me to my knees and forced me to be totally dependent upon the Lord.

You see, on both trips I was forced out of my comfort zone and put in places and situations that I had never experienced before. I was forced to seek the Lord and ask for his provision because I had no knowledge of my own to draw from.

Woof. Let THAT sink it.

 I was forced to seek the Lord and ask for his provision because I had no knowledge of my own to draw from. 

Let me explain by using a really weird analogy because the Lord has a really great sense of humor and uses those quite often to teach me...

When I am in a place that's comfortable and known then I don't have to think twice about where I am going to get my next meal or lay my head that night. I know that there is a Chuy's just a few minutes into town and even a sonic just around the corner. If I'm hungry I know exactly where to go and what to do to satisfy that hunger. I don't feel the need to seek provision because I am so used to operating on my own knowledge and capabilities. When in an unknown place I get a little uncomfortable when I start getting hungry. I have no idea where to even begin to look for food. I don't know the street names or the good/bad places of town. When attempting to operate out of my own capability I could just settle for the first thing that comes along...which is exactly what we did in Paris on our European Adventure. We wandered into a restaurant that was closest to the Eiffel Tower simply because we were tired and hungry and it was the first thing we saw. This resulted in me being terribly disappointed when my "Frankfurter and Fries" came out. What I was expecting to be a gourmet European hot dog (partially because I had seen a delicious looking one earlier and partially because it cost 15 euro) ended up being literally just two boiled Oscar Meyer weenies thrown onto a place next to a pile of french fries. Yup. Did I mention that it cost 15 euro??! Hopefully you share in my disappointment. From then on, we decided to approach our meals a little differently. In fact, we approached our every move differently: we sought the Lord in almost every decision and situation because we didn't know what else to do. When our time in Paris was quickly coming to an end and we only had time for one last stop before catching our overnight train we decided to pray very specifically. We didn't want to end our time in Paris with another overpriced plate of Oscar Meyer wieners. So we prayed, "Lord, please just let us find falafel and a good crepe stand!" We prayed it aloud as we were strolling the streets of Paris. I am not going to say that we were not sincere in this prayer, but at at the same time I can't say that I was really expectant. At least not until we turned a corner five minutes later and saw this...

...provision. 

 Look at the picture closely and you can see that there is a greek gyro place literally right across the path from a crepe stand. Pretty cool, huh? The best part though is that finding crepes and falafel wasn't something we took for our own and did out of our own knowledge or capabilities. I couldn't find that street again if I tried. We sought the Lord and his provision and it made our falafel and crepes SO much more satisfying.

This is a silly example, I know, but there is a lesson to be learned.

Rather than just taking something for our own and on our own timing, we waited on the Lord. We sought HIS provision and HIS timing. Doing so wasn't us saying that we couldn't find food on our own, it was us humbly admitting that we didn't WANT to. We had already tried and we knew that it only led, ultimately, to disappointment.


 So I guess what I am really trying to say is that when I am comfortable it's easy to default to MY knowledge and MY experiences and MY abilities. In doing so, I easily forget that ALL good things come from my Father, the giver of all good gifts and not from myself. It took being uncomfortable in unfamiliar places and situations to see this.

Ellie Holcomb says it beautifully in her song "Only Hope I've Got" ...

I take all the gifts that You have given and I stake my claim like they're my own,
Will You help me when I forget to remember,the good I've got is yours alone,
 Because I don't want to tell some arrogant story
or let myself believe I'm you.
I don't wanna be a thief who's stealing Your glory...
Will You help remind me of what is true?
The ONLY hope I've got...
It's You. 

I am learning to find the comfort in discomfort, and that it is actually a good thing. Discomfort creates dependence upon my Creator and not myself and that is a GOOD THING!

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
    Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! -Psalm 34:8 

The Beauty in Babel

Just over 24 hours ago I was in a different part of the world. I was in El Salvador, which isn't just another country, but also has a different culture, climate, and language.

Obviously I realized all of these things before traveling there, which is why I was anxious to go. It wasn't my first time out of the country; I actually went on a similar trip last year and you can read about it here. The biggest difference this time from any other is the weight of responsibility and fear of failure that I felt. Let me expound upon that a little more...

Every three years Christian Camping International (CCI) and Pine Cove create a new partnership with a church or organization in Latin America. This year, we began a three year partnership with a church called Vida Nueva. This should be a really awesome and exciting thing (here comes the "but")...but, I was entrusted with the responsibility to co-lead this team. So here I am, 23 years old, co-leading a team of 19-22 year old college students to a country I have never been to before to partner with people I have never met before and who speak a language I cannot speak. Needless to say, the thought of this was slightly overwhelming. I had been on a trip like this before, but I had never been responsible for leading one. Naturally where fear lives there are also lies that like to cohabitate too. I began to feel unequipped, inadequate, and totally unprepared...which is exactly where I needed to be in order to learn the things that God wanted to teach me.

When I arrived in Dallas for our orientation time with all of the other Commission Camping teams, the Lord began to work. He immediately gave me an overwhelming peace that only His presence can. It didn't change the realization that this trip could be really hard, but it did reassure me that regardless of where I went or what happened that God would always be there with His hand on the situation and that my labor would not be in vain. The more I dug into the sea of fears swimming around inside my heart, I realized it all came down to the language barrier. I knew how to do camp, how to teach camp, how to be relational with our PC team, and I was even passionate about all of those things. What I didn't (and still don't) know how to do is communicate in a differently language, Spanish in this case. I was fearful of getting there and not being able to communicate our philosophy for camping, servant leadership, love, and the Gospel...and if I wasn't able to communicate any of those things then what was the point in even going?

My fear and anxiety was somewhat relieved when we were greeted in El Salvador by our contact, David, whose English was just as good if not better than mine! Although this was a huge relief, I knew that we would still need to meet/communicate with the National staff and the campers that would be coming to camp in a few days.

Now that you know where my heart was, let's fast forward and get to part where God does the really incredible stuff. So, we met the National staff and spent a full day getting to bond with them. A lot of them knew English, and the ones that didn't were put at ease when we attempted to speak Spanish to them, especially when one of the guys from our team introduced himself as "Yo soy Tejas" (that means "I am Texas" for all of you non-Spanish speakers like me). So God was gracious to allow us to communicate decently well and start to bond with the National staff.

The next morning in my quiet time, part of my bible reading for the day was to read Genesis 11 which talked about the people of Babel. They had become so confident and comfortable in themselves and their community that they wanted to build a tower to make a name for themselves. God decided this wasn't good and dispersed them among the face of the Earth and confused their languages. Well, that was a convenient passage to read considering I was experiencing firsthand the effects of the selfishness and pride of the people of Babel. I immediately related with the people of Babel and saw how comfortable I had become in relying on my words and only finding community in people who were similar to me because that was what was easy and familiar. Woof. Thankfully, we serve a gracious and loving God who has a plan and purpose for everything. Even though he scattered the people of Babel and confused their languages, they still all shared a common-thread of unity and brotherhood, which I realized was also the case for our relationship with the people of El Salvador. From that point on, God graciously allowed me to see this common-thread in all that we did. We weren't always able to articulate everything we wanted, but we shared a common bond in Christ and it always came back to that. So once I was freed of my fear and anxiety, God completely blew my expectations out of the water and showed me just how good, gracious, and powerful He was and is. I didn't let my fear of the language barrier keep me from loving these people deeply and learning to live in community with them. I saw this in the people on our team as well as the National team too. By the end of the first day of camp, we were laughing, dancing, and sharing life with people of a different language, culture, and Nationality...all in the name of Christ.

In one of our last meetings with the National staff, we posed a question. At that point we had discussed and modeled a lot of philosophy (mainly intentionality, servant leadership and "It's Not About Me"), so we wanted to ask them if they had any questions about why we did the things we did or wanted to know more about anything they had heard or seen. No one moved or raised a hand. It was quiet for a good 15 seconds and then one of the counselors, Christy, raised her hand. She explained that no one had any questions because they knew exactly why we had come and had done everything we had done. She continued by saying that from day one we had made it clear that we were there to show Christ's love and to serve just as he had in humility and love.

Wow.

What an incredible God we serve! For the longest time I had been so fearful of the language barrier and what a hindrance it would be for us to communicate our purpose, but in reality the whole time God was working in incredible ways by using our lack of verbal communication to show the people of El Salvador His love and servant-hood solely by our actions. Our words were nothing but babble (a term affectionately coined from the story of Babel) to them majority of the time, but it didn't matter. God had a message to share with the people of Vida Nueva in El Salvador and He not only did that, but He allowed our team to be a vessel for it and to be part of His plan.

So now I see the beauty in Babel. The beauty in being forced out of what is comfortable for the sake of not relying on something that is easy and familiar, but instead relying on something that runs much deeper and is so much sweeter. Instead of finding comfort in familiarity and seeking to build a name for myself, I now desire to continue to find the beauty in Babel by not allowing a different language, religion, culture, Nationality,or  physical appearance to keep me from finding community with someone in the name of Christ and to constantly seek the common-thread of brotherhood and unity with those that God puts in my path no matter how different they may be.

I will never forget seeing both the National staff and precious, tiny El Salvadorian campers stand in front of our team on the last day and testify to the work that God had done through us and the love they felt from us. Those words are burned into my memory forever and I am brought to tears every time I re-live those moments. God used those people in a  mighty way to show me the beauty in Babel and a compleley new aspect of His character.